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Personal Style


I’ve been thinking a lot about my personal style, and really trying to understand what makes an outfit feel “me”. I’m very much an emotional girlie (s/o my scorpio sun) so what I wear significantly affects how I feel - I feel my most confident wearing an outfit that I love, and I feel a sort of disconnect when I’m struggling to piece together an outfit with my wardrobe. Spending more time understanding myself and honing in on what intuitively feels good to me has helped me approach my closet with more clarity & ease.  


Understanding the Self


First and foremost, before anything else, I believe personal style starts with knowing who you are and understanding your internal world. I’ve realized that on the days that I’m struggling with my style and figuring out what to wear, it's usually because of one of the following reasons:

  1. Being over-critical of myself - critiquing the way I look in my clothing, and experiencing negative self-talk.

  1. Falling into perfectionism - putting too much pressure on creating the “perfect” look, so much so that nothing feels or looks good enough.

  1. Social media consumption - I see a lot of fashion content on my feed, and sometimes my idea of what I truly like feels skewed and it becomes harder to differentiate between what feels “me”, and what I’m just consistently being fed within my echo chamber algorithm.


When I realize that any of the above are occurring, I reel myself back and take the time to ground myself. Ultimately, my approach to personal style and deciding what I want to wear and how I want to show up in the world can come down simply to tuning into how I feel in the clothes and allowing myself to playfully decorate my body in whatever way I feel inclined. And if I continue to experience confusion or frustration, I remind myself that it really is not that serious lol. Sometimes I’m just not in the right headspace and that’s okay - it doesn’t mean I have shit style. I’ll end up choosing what feels comfortable to me (or repeating an outfit I know I love), and go on with the day.


Understanding what you like and why (and how to utilize inspiration)
I believe another part of understanding the self is understanding what you like, and why you’re drawn to it. We all have unique experiences and interests that make us who we are. I found it helpful to critically think about what I like and naturally gravitate towards up to this point in my life, and use this as a starting point when it comes to style inspiration.

  1. I started with jotting down my favorite movies, shows, decades, designers, ect. I also highly recommend including inspiration that isn’t fashion related - nature, animals, paintings, childhood nostalgia ect. literally anything you’ve grown up liking, anything that feels personal to you, or that catches your attention.
  2. I broke down what I like about these references, and started to recognize patterns. This could be recurring colors, silhouettes, themes, ect.
  3. The goal here is not to replicate your inspiration/references. The goal is not to limit yourself to certain styles either. The goal is to take the characteristics that you like, and merge them together in your own unique way of how you see things. Creating your own style voice. An opportunity to get innovative, experimental, and overall, self-express, and communicate your singular perspective.


I mentioned earlier that I feel like social media can sometimes subconsciously skew likes/dislikes. But I also don’t necessarily think it's bad by any means to use it as a source of inspiration. I believe social media can be helpful in discovering different ideas, and can bring exposure to things we may not have otherwise been aware of. I think it comes back to having the autonomy to discern between what feels you and what you truly gravitate towards, and what doesn’t particularly feel aligned with your personal style. Important questions to ask are “Would I wear this regardless of whether it was popular online?” and “What is it about this style/outfit that I actually like?”


Intuitive Style


The best way to explore your personal style is with the wardrobe you already possess. Try on everything in your closet, and experiment with pieces that you already own that may fall into the inspiration you’re drawn to (highly recommend a joint and playing your favorite music on a JBL during this process). You might find that there are pieces that you own that may not necessarily fit into any of your references/inspiration, but they make you feel good. They spike an emotion of some sort, for whatever reason. Listen to that. These are the pieces that I find feel very “me” and make me feel the most confident in myself and my personal style.  Experimenting is a big part of developing our personal style, so don't be afraid to try something different. And if the voice in your head is worrying about what other people will think - who fucking cares. If someone doesn't like what you're wearing, okay? Good thing they’re not wearing it. As long as you feel good wearing it, that's all that matters. It's freeing to show up as yourself no matter what other people have to say. Embrace who you are and what you like. And leave room for yourself to change. Our likes and dislikes will naturally change overtime, and that's okay. You don’t ever gotta box yourself into one style - but rather, allow your personal style to evolve in the same way you do.  

loads of love,


- ash